If I could

I told my husband if I could I would be Caroline Ingalls with computer, tv, plumbing and makeup lol. Yeah I love my makeup. I do want a simpler life but do still want many modern convenience. I want the ranch outside of town but I need medical doctors and facilities close by. I want to make my own things that cut down on waste and filling up the landfills but I will still buy my clothes though most already come from thrift stores I am not that great with the sewing machine. I am fine with not talking to people in person outside of my home for day on end as long as I have my social media sites to keep me from never socializing at all.  I have finally accepted and adapted to not having in person friends. I would love big friends and family gatherings at my home all the time but realize this is just a dream. So I will make everyday a family gathering with my own little family. Nathan, the kids and I will make what we can from scratch learn useful everyday skills and what we cannot make or do ourselves we will still buy. We will use electricity and the things it powers for our entertainment but we will try and get ourselves to be able to do more and buy less. Nathan and I will educate the kids in ways they can learn. I am sure it will take adjusting over the years but I would love to get Q past a second grade level in reading and beyond a third grade level in math. I hope our dream of a pumpkin farm happens. Even if it is just us running it and it stays small if it brings in enough income to support us and pass onto the boys so that they have a way to support themselves in the future if that is what they decide to do. Riley already has other dreams and ideas of what she wants out of life. I support her fully and her education will be geared towards what she wants out of life for herself. Of course they will learn other things too so that they are educated in many areas so when their dreams change they are intelligent enough to easily change the direction of their education at a place of higher learning. I have no doubts or fears that the education we give them will ready them for college and beyond. Still I want to be that mom that is involved in her kids lives and helps them learn and grow. NO I do not want to be a helicopter parent! They will make mistakes and learn from them. They will fail at things they try to do but I will be there to pat them on the back for trying and see if together we can find a way for them to succeed at whatever they did fail at. I will continue to teach my children to be kind to others even when they do not deserve it. I will continue to let them be the fun loving awesome kids they are naturally and stop trying to conform every inch of them to be the typical kids at their former public school who forced them out with their bullying. I do not want my children to become those kids. Yes they will still have to learn to adapt to the world around them and how to function in society. They will learn to be apart of the world but know they are fine just being who they are even if they have to keep some of it in their heads until they get home :). I cannot wait until this break is over and I can guide them in their learning. They have already asked if they can learn about a good number of things that have surprised me a little. I told them we can learn about anything they want whenever but they are kids and I said they were taking a break until after christmas so they want to wait until after christmas. I dont blame them and still think its good that they decompress from how the public school did things compared to how we are going to do things. Still I am excited to get started. So my if I could is slowly turning into a I am. I wish it could happen sooner but we are readying ourselves towards these things that we want. For ourselves and for our children.